Rizanting, i.e. Riz Rants

hand-written card

(Nottingham-famous, Tom Jepson, has laid out a challenge to create content, daily, for the month of December. This is day eight. #Dec19ContentChallenge )

And would you look at that! The clock has passed by midnight yet again, and I’m only just beginning to write this now. Sundays are entirely perfect for both that last minute panic-driven productivity and some uninterrupted procrastinating. I was meant to have done so much in this weekend, especially as another pesky deadline waits for its time to lunge at me by Tuesday. (Best I did achieve over the past two days was to literally clean the kitchen sink into its original, spotless state.)

Recently, I’ve been existing on a week by week basis. Balancing the long list of responsibilities, added by myself as well as the universe, is an extreme sport of juggling. You’d think the first time I almost missed a deadline would teach me a lesson, right? Alas, I find myself recklessly continuing in this path of not getting shit done before time. And trust me, this isn’t a personal flaw that’s been newly detected; I leave stuff last minute, I welcome the tension and stress of overworking the night before a deadline, and then narrowly make it. Rinse and repeat. This has been my default for as long as I can remember…and that’s not an exaggeration.

Of course, I don’t at all understand me (and my 2 brain cells), that chose this unhealthy routine and then framed in in such a way that my brain refuses to believe I could ever thrive without it. Because, yes, I have been more creative in this state than when I had ample time and an empty schedule. From poems to design in general, not having the time to pursue either in a day is the exact reason I was more conscious of the subtleties within any given day, to take my inspiration from this!

Thus, to imagine a life where I’m not my most creative self? I, wholeheartedly, can’t. Which brings me to an uneasy realisation: I’ve forever claimed to detest hustle culture and anyone who preaches it, and yet I happen to be a culprit?!

I have no ending worked out for this rant so I’ll end it, abruptly.

👋 Catch you, another time.

Until next time.


👈 Head back?